How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever e book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is out there for pre-order! Here!

An precise e book that it is possible for you to to carry in your palms. Or, for those who desire my dulcet tones, hearken to along with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn by way of my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind once I nearly by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my legislation diploma to turn out to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You can name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a style mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my e book within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by chance occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by way of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it could not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this e book. Let’s not get the unsuitable finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it bought to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a trip by way of a decade of the unbelievable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. Actually I used to be particularly advised, once I bought the e book deal, that I needed to embody the bits that will create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to all the components that may probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I did not turn out to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any state of affairs.

You possibly can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably secure wager that you just’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so for those who solely ever click on on one hyperlink I publish then please make it this one. I’ll be endlessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the e book and concerning the means of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the very best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever accomplished in my grownup life. Should you’ve adopted me for some time you then’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really glad accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a e book deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.